Monday, 17 June 2013


In the future, like far in the future man, like a thousand years in the future, man has left Earth.

Turns out we crapped on it. Silly really.

Anyway, we set up on this other planet but we met aliens and they turned out to be bang out of order. That took us by surprise.


They release creatures that were big and grumpy and ate us and could track us by smelling our fear right, it was a total bummer. But then we learned to control our fear so they couldn't see us, this was called 'ghosting' right?


Now we kick their butts but I'm not sure where the original evil aliens went too... I think they left that bit out or covered it with 'we beat them up.' Some thing like that.

Now Will Smith is a super dude at 'ghosting' and his kid (played by his kid) is a cadet, but he isn't so good at all that jazz, even though he kind of is actually good at it at the same time. Which gets annoying as he routinely falls apart throughout the film when he's meant to be trained and then turns into fucking Superman at other points...


After Earth has a strong visual style, the tech looks good, the effects are excellent and the effects are excellent as are the effects... Okay, the rest isn't as good as the effects.You are detecting this yes? Excellent!

The Smiths go off for some bonding time on a space ship, the ship is damaged and they are forced to crash on Earth; a quarantined planet where 'everything has evolved to kill humans.' Only they clearly haven't.

The rest of the crew are all dead and Will is injured meaning Jaden must make a long journey across the planet to retrieve something from the tail section of the craft that landed elsewhere. He has to make the journey and survive the many pitfalls and dangers that lie in wait for him while his dear daddy waits for him on the ship, guiding him through via radio link.

Both Smiths are awkward and certainly Will Smith doesn't pull off the strong, unemotive soldier type very well, his son is young and isn't a great actor at present and that shows too. There are awkward scenes of them together and others of them communicating over distance and really neither look like they are really digging it.

It's illogical, unconvincing and all in all it's a bit of a botched job, but it does have some nice moments and some cool designs and effects. I wouldn't have said it was the worse 'future earth' film so far this year but it does suffer from the same problems that 'Oblivion' did; looks great, but is dogged by idiocy.

Out of the two (Oblivion and After Earth) After Earth wins as it doesn't rely so heavily on retreading other peoples movies and their better shot scenes, and yet it does suffer from bizarre events, illogical happenings and has no real backbone of its own.

AFTER EARTH : Nice design, some enjoyable moments and visuals but never makes it up to the idea they stuck on the wall. 5/10.  (MUST TRY HARDER)

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