Using the Cineworld cinema card I can hit the flicks when I want and not worry about the cost, this means that every week, come Thursday, me and my buddy @SchonsEvilTwin are at the flicks. We've had weeks off through illness and general life commitments and we rarely get the chance to dip our toes into art house as the big releases generally snaffle us up, but we've had a great year over all.
The list below contains every film we saw in the cinema and a sentence to give you my view. Hopefully This will be fun...
GANGSTER SQUAD: Solid cop film with a large cast. Made me think 'Holy shit, the T-1000 is very old!' 4*
DJANGO UNCHAINED: Brilliant but brutal and tough to watch in places. A long film packed with incredible performances. Tarantino's best since Pulp Fiction.
5*
THE LAST STAND: Arnie proves he moves slowly and is past being an action star. A terrible, depressingly stupid film.
1*
LINCOLN: Well made but not a film that struck any real emotional cord with me.
3*
A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD: Die Hard five. It was terrible. Willis coasts and his younger cast members stink. Terrible.
2*
HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS: 3D. : A fantasy action light film that has some interesting and well shot action but is ultimately very forgettable.
3*
PARKER: A Statham vehicle that stays on the path of good without ever being great. Also features the return on Jennifer Lopez.
3*
THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE: A film so devoid of comedy or charm that I'd rather chew an angry wasp than sit through it a second time.
1*
G.I JOE: RETALIATION: The Rock heads up a franchise and takes it forward. It's the same sort of silly action as the first one, but better done.
4*
TRANCE: Danny Boyle, James Mcavoy, Rosario Dawson and Vincent Cassel deliver a brilliant thriller that stays with you long after it's finished. Oh, and it's incredibly beautiful and stylish.
4*
OBLIVION: Tom Cruise in futuristic thriller that lifts direct scenes from many other movies but looks quite nice.
3*
OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN: A silly film in which King Leonidas has to save the President of the United States who break into his house. Morgan Freeman also stars.
2*
IRON MAN 3: Shane Black and Robert Downey Jnr deliver a movie that has little to do with the Marvel Universe other than to piss on it, because it's shit, or something like that. *Slow hand clap*
1*
STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS. A rehash of Star Trek two, only at the wrong time, with a few swapped scenes. Seriously, I enjoyed it, but I can see why many people didn't.
4*
FAST AND FURIOUS 6: Incredibly stupid film which features the worlds longest airstrip. It also ha lots of cars and action and fighting and stuff, and I like that kind of thing when it's done well. It was done well.
4*
HANGOVER PART 3: A funny film, though not anything that hasn't been seen in the first two. More of the same.
3*
THE PURGE: A great premise that quickly becomes mind numbingly stupid with each torturous second that passes.
1*
AFTER EARTH: Nice design but realistically Big Willy and his kid don't make this breathe. A poor film.
2*
MAN OF STEEL: Goyer and Snyder forget they're making a Superman film ten seconds into the movie and unleash flying death merchant for mindless explosions and idiocy.
2*
WORLD WAR Z: Pitt makes a zombie film that bears no real resemblance to the brilliant book and so it shouldn't be called World War Z... but it is a very good film.
4*
DESPICABLE ME 2: A return to Groo and his family. Unicorns, long noses, killer chickens. Awesome.
4*
THIS IS THE END: Crass end of the world comedy that is juvenile, but is entertaining... if you like that sort of thing.
3*
NOW YOU SEE ME: Light street magic movie ruined by all the trailers and thought it was cleverer that it actually was. A likely cast make it less crap.
3*
PACIFIC RIM: Incredibly stupid giant robot kills giant lizard movie. Big, dumb, really dumb and really big. Big dumbness.
3*
THE WORLD'S END: The third part of the cornetto trilogy. Pegg, Frost and Merchant (?) deliver an epic pub crawl that spirals through disaster and into excellence.
4*
THE WOLVERINE: Action fest that sticks true to the comic book material. The second best comic book film of the year. The best comic book adaptation by far.
4*
THE SMURFS 2: Not as painful as I thought it would be, and yet still akin to slamming your genitals in a kitchen draw.
2*
RED 2: Action comedy I loved. Big cast and big laughs from this sequel that really delivers. John Malkovitch is brilliant in it!
4*
PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS: A decent kids action film that didn't disappoint.
3*
KICK ASS 2: Brilliant. Jim Carrey is fab, as are all the rest of the cast. Memorable, exhilerating, original and bone crunching. Really great off the wall comic book action.
4*
2 GUNS: Denzel Washington and Marky Mark do the unlikely buddy movie with guns and ammo. Good film. A solid piece of action thriller.
3*
ELYSIUM: Matt Damon is bald, he lives on a shitty future world. Earth is shitty, to escape it you must go to where the rich people are. Elysium. Sci-Fi brought to you by the guy that brought you District 9. You can see it's the same guy, but it's gorgeous and brilliant.
4*
PAIN AND GAIN: Enthralling story about three dumb criminals and their antics in Miami. They try to get rich, it goes horribly wrong. It's a good film but it's a horrible story. Hard to recommend.
3*
RIDDICK: A movie that isn't anywhere near as bad as the second one and nearly as good as the original. Not that original, but I did really enjoy it.
3*
RUSH: One of the films of the year! Seventies Formula one gods Hunt and Lauda go head to head in a biopic that's so well made I wanted to watch it straight after it finished. Ron Howard does a stunning job of directing and the two lead actors are amazing!
5*
FILTH: A horrible film about Scottish cops and the race for a promotion. James Mcavoy plays the main character and it's hard to think of a more unpleasant character than this one. Bastard of the year for sure.
4*
PRISONERS: Hugh Jackman and Terrance Howard have their children abducted from a small American town in at Christmas. A tense, terrifying film that is brilliantly acted but will leave most parents hiding behind their hands. Terrifying.
4*
ESCAPE PLAN: Stallone breaks out of prisons for a living. He's placed in a hard one to escape from and things get serious. Arnie is another inmate, looking for a way out. It's not brilliant, but it's not terrible either.
3*
CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2: A found my attention wandering as the cool cast from the first film wander around the island with sentient food on it. Not as good as the original, but okay.
3*
THOR 2: Emotional, action packed, funny, silly, rooted in the Marvel universe but accessible to all brilliance! A film I enjoyed more than any other this year in a raw, fanboy way.
5*
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: Cleaned up and made pretty this classic didn't fair that well. Notable for it's early Depp death and and it's terrible eighties soundtrack.
2*
GRAVITY: Stunning effects, wonderful storytelling and acting, glorious simplicity that brings incredibly rich performances from its two stars Clooney and Bullock. Film of the year... or is it Rush. Between these two.
5*
HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE: Another fabulous film from the Hunger Games trilogy. This is a tight, well acted, emotional rollercoaster that never seems to make the lazy choice. Brilliant.
4*
CARRIE: An okay reboot of a classic film, from a classic book.
3*
HOMEFRONT: Statham action film set in the south of the United States. It's hicks v Stathams ex spec forces, undercover killing machine. Great action, tight enough story and well developed supporting cast. A much better film than I was expecting.
4*
THE MUPPETS CHRISTMAS CAROL: Loved it for the three thousandth time! The best Muppet movie by a long way. Also one of the best Christmas films ever made. Brilliant.
4*
THE HOBBIT 2: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG: I enjoyed it and it didn't feel as long as the first one, but the 3d became confusing in places, and as much as I want to love it, it just missed a certain magic.
3*
MOSHI MONSTERS THE MOVIE: A horrifying cluster fuck of a kids film that left me feeling hollow and lifeless. The worst kind of drivel. Dog shit smeared on the screen could have been easier to stomach.
So, there you go. My year at the cinema. Warts and all. You'll love some of the films I hated and hate some of the films I loved, that's a given, but I can tell you I felt the year was good over all, perhaps even great? Really enjoyed it and I can't wait for next years batch!
Thanks for reading.
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