Saturday, 2 February 2013

Dads Do What Dads Do

Something I find more than slightly odd is the attitude that its strange to see a man caring for a baby. Why? Why is it odd? What is odd about it pray tell? I mean the baby is a wonderful, magical, crazy mix of two people, the genes intertwined without some prejudicial preference to the female half. Its half, no matter how you cut it! So if the baby is half you, then why wouldn't you want to carry, cuddle, feed, care for, change, dress, burp or play with the baby that is half of you?

It's pretty obvious that this attitude is not only ridiculous but it's lazy and I think it's the laziness that pisses me off more than the lack of sense that it makes. People who look and see a dad with a small baby and think 'isn't that great, he's pitching in' should be people I like right? Nope. You know why? Because it should be the norm that men are caring for their children if they get the chance. Men should be cuddling their children, showing them love and care, committing to being active parts of their fledgling lives, not just making money and letting the woman 'do the house work and look after the kids.' Men should be taking their children and showing them how to be compassionate and excellent people regardless of whether they are married, divorced, or widowed. It makes no difference, the child is part of us. So when someone says, 'good for you' I worry that they see it as women's work and that it's 'really good of you to try and help slightly'. And then I just want to shake them and scream 'WAKE UP! ITS THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY FOR FUCKSAKE!'

It's lazy to presume that a man would find caring for a baby boring. It's lazy to assume that he we should be working while the baby is with the mother. It's lazy to assume that REAL MEN are in short supply, they aren't, a REAL MAN looks after the people he loves the same way REAL WOMEN do. Men look after kids, take them to the pictures, change their nappies, feed them expressed bottles or formula if need be, teach them manners, speak to them, read to them, cuddle them, show them all the love they have inside because...and here comes the news flash; MEN CARE ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN!

Obviously there are always some rotten eggs, there are guys that skip out, don't care or do see it all as 'Women's Work.' To them I'd simply say that there is no such thing as 'Women's work' or for that matter 'men's work,' there is only work, that needs doing, by do it.

So let people instead say 'cool, how is the baby?' Or perhaps 'He/She is adorable', or even 'How old is the child? You two are doing well I see.' It may be slightly condescending if said in a certain way but at least it isn't utterly illogical and completely stupid.