Friday, 4 May 2012


Opportunity knocked and I said 'Yes' and so I found myself being dragged out of bed at 5 o clock (in the morning of course, I'm not a alchoholic or a lethario dontcha know) to make the journey off to the 'Undiscoved Country', the wonder of a completely new experience, to The Chronicles of Professor Elemental!

The kids were organised for babysitting (obviously) but we decided that Dot (not fond of a lot of people outside of the family being, only 2) would come with us and so we got her up, dressed and fed and even though we set off slightly late the day was on! Oh the excitement (my guts started playing up), the adventure (no, not a good feeling for someone that still struggles with car sickness sometimes), the sheer newness of it all (we had to pull over, I had five minutes walking around a car park, popped back in and on we continued), oh my Mr Frodo, Oh Horray!!

Arrival at Petworth House brought a level of calm and we entered the production base to meet the cast, crew and I have to say it was lovely, everyone was friendly, cheerful and I felt right at home (I was however still quite nervous). Benjamin Field; the writer and director, was exactly as he was on Twitter and in the conversation I'd had with him on Skype, an excellent chap all round. Professor Elemental was in the room and it again felt like I'd known him for ages (we have chatted on twitter but its not quite the same as meeting people and seeing them laugh, pull faces and generally stand beside you).

Strapped into a chair (I sat, I wasn't strapped, but I feel it works better for the visual, okay?) and make up was applied. The foundation, the brush, the internal monolog from me wondering if I was blinding the poor girl from the light reflecting off my 'eight head' as it was called on site. It was alien, but very pleasant! Next I dressed and after a short wait we headed to 'location one'.

I'm going to clarify something here, I'm not telling you guys all that happened, what was said and where we filmed, I didn't take a lot of pictures as I didn't want to have the temptation to put things on twitter I shouldn't, I'm not doing any....(Frizzy haired thinking man's totty Alex Kingston leaps out from the side of your screen) 'spoilers'. Sorry if that means its a shorter post (everyone breathes a sigh of relief) but that's the way it has to on with the show business!

We filmed, it felt good, I'm not Brando, everything went as well as I had hoped, that's awesome! The place we were filming was stunning by the way, it was statues and pictures and art and awesome. It was beautiful and so in an odd way it made it easier to be silly. I danced behind the statue that was my 'mark', I spoke in a squeeky voice for amusement in places, I enjoyed myself immensely! Come time to leave the location and there were some snags which mean we had to shoot later too. A lot later.

For the day I sat, as is the way on sets so I gather, waiting for my turn to pick up the batten again and run. We chilled, Dot was kind of bored but was so good and the wonderful Mamacrow sat and played with her and waited for me. I really am lucky to have someone who is willing to back me in these weird things, these flights of fancy!

Come half three and the time was right for us to get it on. We had had a run through earlier in the new location and all was good. We gathered and the actors and me stood, watching the technical guys work their magic, get their angles and check their lights. Make up was topped up and hair tidied and we were ready and...I went blank. It took a take or two to get it back and have those words I've been repeating for hours and hours back and we shot. Different angles, repeating what we had to, sometimes we got it right and sometimes we got it wrong, but we did get it! (I did warn you it was gonna reveal bugger all)

We packed all the stuff, bumped it out the door, shock hands and hugged (I have very high personal space and even with that I felt quite happy hugging the guys) and headed off. I changed in the car park, standing in my Spiderman nut coverers, T-shirt and socks as I tried to make sure I hadn't left anything behind. Back in my jeans and Punisher Jumper and off we set, Mamacrow driving as always, Dot and me in the back (I had to sit in the back on the way up as she climbs out of the straps in her chair which is dangerous and naughty...naughty Dot), flying back to normalcy!

It was done. All over. I was an actor for a day, or rather should I say I attempted to be an actor for A day, and though it is over I'm bloody glad I did it. Of course I'm hoping I didn't stink too bad, other peoples hopes are riding on the project and I'd hate to be the prick that gave everyone a sore thumb, but I don't know as I was that bad. I tried. That's probably as best as I can put it. So, what to say now?

I can tell you that I'd love to do it again in some way, I'd love to have the atmosphere, creative vibe and that mixture of accents and attitudes swallow me once more, certainly more than once I would have thought, thought I'm not mad enough to think that this is the beginning of my asccention into fame and fortune. It was a wild, wacky and absorbing day out, but I can't say it will turn out to be anything other than a pub claim to fame.'I was in the Chronicles of Professor Elemental.' 'Oh, which series? I love that show!' I puff up my chest and look proud, 'I was in the pilot that got them the contract for the full series!' 'Really, wow, you an actor than?' I try not to look crestfallen, 'No,' I relpy, 'I was just in that one thing.' The table holds its breath for a beat and then someone chips in, 'Yeah, but you have done something cool like that, I would love to do something like that!'

Yes, yes you would, because it was unique and eye opening and for a day I had the world at my feet. The world at my feet.

(I'd like to thank all those that were there but my memory for names is terrible so check this and know I mean you if you were there and you are now reading this (Oh god shut the fuck up Edd and just do the list!)...So thanks to Grace and Alex and Moog and lovely make up girls times two and camera guy that looked like someone I know but I can't think who and script man who was awesome and Helen and Paul with beard and sound hat girl and Rachel and Divine Mr pearce and finally to Paul who let me come in on this ride and Ben who offered me the gig in the first place and expanded the invitation to Mamacrow and the Roo. Thanks guys and god I hope you get what you deserve; riches, biscuits, Battenberg and a full series to the take the world by storm with!)

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