PARTY POSTPONED

I watch the catering truck rumble off into the distance. It turns the corner and a balloon deflates on the gate post, leaving two blue orbs either side of a flaccid, apologetic looking sleeve of blue plastic. I think of Jim Morrison and his infamous habit of going off early like an over enthusiastic party popper and  I now know how he feels.

No, I haven't just glued my pants with love sludge, I am talking (of course) about the book promo that wasn't. Why it wasn't I do not know, that it wasn't is plainly clear. I filled in the on-line form thing, checked the dates and waited for the magic! Come morning and the reduced price and new cover were happily flying their colours but the free promo wasn't in sight. Bumsticks. I now attempt to move from a lying prone while moaning and wailing to a standing and doing position. 

So the promo didn't work?! SO WHAT?! I'll do it better on Thursday right?! YEAH!

Yeah.

Here we go then. Here is the thing; I hate screwing up and yet I do it so often that it feels like my default setting. I know we all make mistakes, all have things that go wrong and all get the chance to turn it around for the most part and so what difference does it make? It makes a lot of difference when you bugger up the first impression all the time, that much I can tell you.

The party starts for Blank Canvas on Thursday the 30th of May 2013 and will run for two days. I've filled in the form, checked the dates are right and cancelled the old promo so nothing should go wrong this time. It'll have two days to run about and thrust itself upon unsuspecting passers by, hopefully gathering a few admirers along the way  and a few reviews. That's the time it has to climb the chart and maybe secure a footing higher up the market than 66,000, which is roughly it's current normal place.

I know I can make this work but all the same I'm pretty down about the mistake this morning. Just got to make sure I keep my head up. Keep writing and editing and pray I can improve in all the areas I need to in order to make the dream a reality.

Thanks for reading. 

BLANK CANVAS Release!

Blank Canvas is a book I wrote in November 2011. I continued to improve, edit and send the book to agents throughout 2012 and decided to self publish when it wasn't picked up. I decided to not give up and I wanted to give my book it's day in the sun.

Here is the book, released two weeks ago but, and here's the really great news; it's free to download at Amazon from the twenty eighth of May to the First of June 2013!

Here's the blurb...


 An accident on a colonial ship; The Buckingham, leaves it crippled, drifting through space. The custodial crew of seven have suffered losses and with no way to repair their vessel they must abandon the ship to organise a rescue mission from Homeworld. They leave behind a single crew member to keep watch over the five-hundred-thousand colonists asleep in suspended animation, to act as a guard and a monitor on the ship's systems while they are gone.

Left alone, facing months if not years of isolation, a woman set to be the colony's master artist must battle the demons of her past and the despair and loneliness of her present if she is to ever have a future...

It's a first person narrative from the perspective of a lone woman, left alone to face the demons of her past that continue to constrain her present. 

If all goes well many people will download it over the next few days and I'll go up the charts. What would be even better is if those people that download it then go and review it and say what they thought. Posting reviews will help to bring the downloads coming after the free promotion and if you are one of those wonderful people that blogs then a blog review would be something I can link to and would continue to help me even further!

The link is at the bottom. I hope you can help me to bring some love to this book. If you do then I'll love you forever :-)

 http://www.amazon.co.uk/BLANK-CANVAS-ebook/dp/B00CQS9U5U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369600593&sr=8-1&keywords=Blank+Canvas+kindle

Silent Sunday

Flowers

The world can be a pretty screwed up place sometimes; a place where screwed up people do horrible things and then those horrible things are attributed to a much wider whole. It's not how most people act and it's not how we should see each other. We should see the truth; that we are all humans, trying to get by in a pretty screwed up world and that some people want to rage and hate, but it's very few.

I don't want to see pictures of people being killed, or of the killers. I don't need to see footage of brutal events to know that they happen and I don't need shock reporting to tell me why they happen. 

I'd much rather look at some pretty flowers, randomly photographed by a dude with a beard. 

Enjoy. 

Music Monday : Let There Be Love.

 

'Its all you'll ever need.'

How people can argue with the idea of loving human beings making their feelings for each other public if they want to is beyond me. No, I'm not talking about having the sex of your choice on the bonnet of a police car outside the town hall on a busy Saturday afternoon, I'm talking about that thing that seems to make the boys with the blue rosettes crazy; Gay marriage.

For my money I don't see how they can still keep their strange and utterly irrational hatred for someone's sexuality alive but that's something I'm glad about; I can't see their point. I can't understand their bigoted and pathetic hatred and I can't see me ever seeing their point.

It really is as simple as this; let those that love love, let those that don't yearn for something they do not have and cannot understand.

If you don't get it? Just fuck off and shut up!

We only need one song this week and I'll happily break my 'No Beatles' rule.

Those Damn Lists Revisited

It's Sunday morning and I'm suffering from the lack of sleep from the night before so forgive me if the chain of thought dances round like Michael Flatley in the middle of a coke binge.

Right, just over two weeks ago I had a go at those stupid lists of the 'best', my reaction to was to knock up a list of things I was going to do over the following two weeks, a proper list; a 'to do' list. I'm gonna check in and see if making that list helped me get where I wanted to go.

Did I hit my targets?

I'll go point by point, knocking down those tent pegs like an unruly twelve year old in a packed camp-site.

EAT WELL

What does that even mean dude? LOL! Well, if I mean (which I think I did) to eat what I wanted, keep things in moderation and try not to be the biscuit king then the answer is Yes, yes I've done okay. Dinner's are always taken together as a family and I haven't burnt any of those in the two weeks. I've chowed down on snacks, sure, but the main meal times are all good.

If I'm working on a site or with a contractor food goes out of the window to get the job done, especially if plastering, and so as I have been tragically quite these past two weeks it has meant I haven't bumped lunch so we can finish half an hour (always a stupid plan).


GET SOME EXERCISE

I used to be regular on the weights when in my early twenties, never a big guy but I did enjoy the process and the results of targeting workouts every day. When I did my stint as a house husband I let that slide. Five years later and I started on sites, the work builds you back up but also grinds you down pretty badly.

I started back this week on basics; chin ups, sit ups, press ups, trying to get back to some kind of basic shape so I can have a platform to work from. It's gonna take time but I'm going to take it slow and see if I can get back in shape. I've got more weight on me now in general so I think there's more to convert into muscle.

I started back this week. I aim not to stop now.


 WORK MORE, TALK LESS

The first week I stayed off twitter and used that time to edit. YES!

  MAKE THE TALKING I DO MEAN MORE

The second week I did what I could to get the word out about my self-published book. I chatted with people, got the retweets rolling and took pointers from people who offered advice. Job done! 

COMPLETE ALL THE TASKS I NEED TO ON MY FIRST BOOK

A week after making this list I felt I'd finished. Properly finished. Yeah, I'm my own editor at present and so there will always be things that can be improved and stray spelling mistakes here or there, perhaps even the odd typo. I know I'm not the best writer in the world and that goes double for editing, but I think the finished product I had was finished enough.

When I know more I can improve it, I'm sure of that, but I think it's the best I can right now and that is good enough for me. I think that does say something as I was about to publish weeks ago but nagging doubts made me go through again and I picked up plenty of minor mistakes and improved the work generally. I am happy with it now, ready to give it to people and hope that they like it too.

RELEASE SAID BOOK ON THE KINDLE AND TRY NOT TO VOMIT FRO NERVES

I didn't puke but I did publish. :-) I'll be doing posts on the process and what I did right and wrong a.s.a.p but for now know that it's out there and I didn't back out or puke. I have felt a mixture of highs and lows since; being happy to walk around town head held high one day and questioning why I was stupid enough to think it was a good idea.

Having said that here's a link. If you buy it I hope you enjoy it, if you do popping a review on the Amazon site and maybe on your blog would be very helpful indeed. :-)

 http://www.amazon.co.uk/BLANK-CANVAS-ebook/dp/B00CQS9U5U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368959232&sr=8-1&keywords=Blank+Canvas+kindle

Self doubt is a bitch and I don't think I'll ever shift it.

HELP THE KIDS OVER THEIR CHICKEN POX

We had Fluff (7) and Petal (5) down with the nasty pox and they were okay to be honest. The t.v stayed on, they hugged pillows on the sofa while smothered in Calamine and dosed up with Calpol and anti histamine's and it wasn't too bad.

A tip from a tweep was to put some oats in an old stocking (I had plenty about as robbing banks is well dangerous nowadays so I don't do that any more)  tie it up and dump it in the bath. The oats make the water cloudy and it helps with the itching! The kids were much relieved after their baths and that was a godsend.

Sadly just as Petal and Fluff are getting over it Dot (3) and #TrojanHero (4 months) have picked it and both are pretty covered in those horrible spots. :-( Oh well.

  

  READ SECOND BOOK THROUGH AND START TO MAKE ALTERATIONS NEEDED

I have indeed started the first edit on the second book. It's unconnected to the first and is a lot more complicated. There are more characters, more issues, a greater level of effort required on ever level and that is great! The trouble is that because it is generally more complicated and adventurous it's harder to work on.

My wife has read it and thinks it's clearly better than Blank Canvas (the first book) but agrees it needs work. So I start from a better base than before but I'm also looking at a really hard climb. The days when I'm really confident and up for it have seen me make indents, but the muddy, self doubting days see productivity crawl to a very slow pace as I question every decision I made while writing the book in the first place.

Can we swap brains for a while please?

WATCH SIX MOVIES FROM THE SHELF OF UNLOVED DVD'S

I am a bit behind on this one as the other things have taken up the time but I have managed a few. Immortals, Aliens and one of the Naked Gun films down, bringing me to a total of forty three dvd's left to be watched. Its an on going battle but I'm still adamant that nothing comes in till they are all conquered. That should save money and stop me from random, comfort movie buying.

Saying that I really want Life Of Pi and Django Unchained! I better start earning money and caning the list!

BE THE BEST PERSON I CAN BE

Erm, well I haven't been really naught or anything and I have tried quite hard so maybe I've done this. Not sure.

COMPLETE THE DECORATING OF THE TEENS BEDROOM/MOVE HIM BACK INTO THE ROOM

CHECK! He's been back in a week and the room is still relatively clean! Good skills!

MAKE LOVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

Well I haven't been making war, had no time to ;-)

So, it's a success for the most part. Did making this list help me? Did it drive me on? No, but it did allow me avenues to focus on, reminded me what was actually important and that it is sometimes the small steps that lead to the big changes.

The only real thing that's changed in the last two weeks is that I self published a book. To many that would be minor or perhaps even a slightly bitter pill, having not been able to sell it to a publishers or even secure an agent and yet it's actually huge.

How did I get to this moment? I locked myself in a room and wrote and thought and wrote and didn't give up. I sent early drafts to agents and waited for responses and saved every rejection and I didn't give up. I took that piece of writing and kept editing and editing and editing and I didn't give up.

I think the secret to life is simple really; try to work out what you want to do and don't give up. When you get knocked down get back up and get back on the path.

God I hope that's how it works.  

Silent Sunday